Revenge is sweet
by SupremeBoredom
Summary: Cartman's mother is murdered. She was the only person he truly cared about! And she's gone! He plans to get his revenge on whoever took his mother from him! And strangely, Kyle wants to help him. But why? Sorry if that summary sucked. This fic is finally over, you don't have to suffer anymore!
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: This is my first fic so no flames. Also thank you for reading this! Enjoy the story dearies! :D

*Cartman's P.O.V*

"AHHHHHHH! AAAHHHHH! SOMEBODY PLEASE! HELP ME!" I woke up immidiately. It was 3:47 in the morning. What was my mom yelling about now? "OH MY GOD! SOMEBODY PLEASE!" "Goddammit!" I grumbled under my breath. I tried to go back to sleep. My mom continued to scream for 3 more minutes. Then I heard some glass break. Finally I got out of my bed. I followed my mothers crys for help to the kitchen.

When I there she stopped screaming. I saw a man in a black suit cutting her throat with a knife. I was mortified. My own mother was being killed right in front of me! She was probably the the person I've truly cared about! I know I usually try to keep my cool around others but this was too much. I dropped down on my knees and started to cry. "NO! NO! NOT. MY. MIIIIIIIIM!" I was sobbing uncontrolably. Then the man laughed about the scene and left through the back door.

I walked over to my mom's body. "Miiiim?" She looked at me. Blood spewing from her mouth. "E-eric." She studdered. "Yes mim?" "I-I love you Poo-Poopsikins." With that her eyes rolled to the back of her head. She was dead. My mother was dead! I started to cry and scream. "NOOO! NOOOOOOO!" I didn't want to move. I wanted to stay there. I know my mom was a whore who did drugs all the time and treated her son like a friend and not a son, but I loved her. She was my mom! And now she's gone! SHE FUCKING GONE! Because some asshole decided to kill her FOR NO GODDAMN REASON!

This has gone far enough! It's payback time! What I need is to track down this motherfucker and give him what he deserves. Yes, that's perfect! Revenge!


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: I know I just put up chapter 1, but I just want to get as much as I can done. Because I might not be able to update as much as I want to. Anyways here's chapter 2.

*Cartman's P.O.V*

I woke up next to my mothers corpse. I hadn't realised I dozed off while crying and screaming last night. I got up from the kitchen floor. "well I guess I may as well start breakfast." I sighed. I looked over at my mother again. "I love you mom." I then looked at the clock. 6:57. I sighed, too late to eat. I left the kitchen and went upstairs to my room. (Because for some reason every bedroom in South Park is upstairs.) I took off my pajamas and put on the first clothes I seen. They were wrinkley and stained but I didn't care. I grabbed my backpack and left the house.

*Kyle's P.O.V*

"Yeah it's on Thursday, I know they suck but my mom has been wanting to spend more time me." Stan said. He was talking about a mother/son dance. They always suck. The only reason people show up is because their moms force them to. "Hmph, Aren't I lucky. My mom doesn't give two shits about me so I don't have to go!" Kenny exclaimed. "Lucky bastard." I mumbled. "Thank you Kyle." Kenny smirked. I was about to say something back but then Cartman shows up with stained clothes and messed up hair. His mom probably refused to buy him something. "Hey Cartman." Kenny greeted. "Hi Kinny." He said rather depressed. "Hey Cartman, do you think your mom is gonna force you to go to the mother/son dance?" Stan asked. Cartman gave Stan an expression that said 'Why would you ask that'. Then he bursted out crying. Me, Stan and Kenny looked at eachother, then at Cartman.

"Umm, Cartman. What's wrong?"I asked. He looked at me, his eyes glassy. "I-I don't w-want to talk-k about i-it." He studdered. "Aw come one Cartman, whatever it is. It can't be that bad." Kenny assured. "Oh really Kenny?" Cartman looked a little mad now. "I know your mom don't give a rats ass about you, but atleast you have one!"He screamed the 'atleast you have one' part. "Cartman what are you talking about?" Stan asked, a little shocked by Cartman's outburst. "L-last night, at like thr-three in the morning." He stopped for a moment, crying some more. "I heard my mim scr-screaming. And I went to go s-see what it was, and I saw my mim being stabbed t-to death by some guy I-I don't know!" Then he started crying some more. We were all suprised by what he just said. Some one killed his mom?

"Aw, Cartman it's okay. Please don't cry."I assured him. "NO IT'S NOT!" He screamed back. I never thought the boy had emotions until now,he was always such a sadistic asshole to everyone. Suddenly Kenny gave Cartman a hug. "It's okay dude."He whispered to him."If you ever need anything, I'm here for you." Cartman looked at Kenny. "Kinny,"He started. I don't know why but I always thought it funny how he mispronounced things. He called Kenny 'Kinny' his mom 'miiim' and me 'Kahl'. "Yes Eric?"Kenny responded. For some reason Cartman didn't care when Kenny called him Eric, but he got mad when other people did. "I'm lucky to have you as a friend." He answered.

Then he cried on Kenny's shoulders. "I'm here for you too."I told him. "Thanks Kahl."he responded. "I am too Cartman." Stan assured. "Thanks Hippie."Cartman smirked. Even though he was upset, he still criticised Stan. "Hey Kahl?" Cartman asked. "Yes?" "C-can I st-stay at your hou-house?" Everyone was amazed. Why my house? He hates me. And my "bitch mom". "Um, sure." I responded. "Thanks, I guess Jews aren't as greedy as I thought." "I know this isn't a good time, but don't be an asshole Cartman." I said calmly. Finally the bus came.  
*******

*Cartman's P.O.V*

When we got to class all the guys were whining about their moms making them go to the mother/son dance. I sat at my desk silently with my head down. "Hey fatass." Said a nasally voice. Without looking up I grumbled, "What the hell do you want Craig?" "You keep crying like a pussy. What the hell is wrong with you? Did you realize that you're actually fat and not big-boned?" Craig teased. "Fuck off Craig! Why do you care anyway?" I yelled, still not looking up. "I don't. It's just that you never cry around other people." "Son of a bitch."I mumbled. "Aw, what's wrong? Did fatass loose his candy?" Jesus Christ! Why won't he leave me alone? Why does he care anyway. "Fuck off Craig!" I screamed. "Not till you tell me what's wrong."He replied. Finally I looked up. "GODDAMMIT CRAIG I TOLD YOU TO FUCK OFF!" I yelled. Then I punched him right in the nose. He fell back, his nose bleeding. Suddenly the entire class was staring at me. Shocked looks on there faces. "What?" I screamed. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL STARING AT?"

"J-j-jesus Cartman, C-c-calm yo-your t-tits." Jimmy studdered. "What you got a problem with me Jimmy?"I asked, still pissed off. "N-No." He responded. "Hmph" I hmphed. "Just as I thought." Then I put my head back down. I didn't feel like making a bigger scene than I already made. The room was quiet for a moment then people went back to talking. After what felt like 10 minutes, the bell rang. "Alright students lets get this over with so I can go home."Mr. Garrison said as he came into the room. I wasn't listening to him talk. I just kept my head down thinking about how to get my revenge on the guy who killed my mom. I almost had an idea when he asked me question. "Eric? Do you have an answer?" "What?"I asked. Garrison groaned. "I asked you if you have an answer to the question Artard!" "Oh, um. What was the question?" I asked. A few kids giggled. "Are you even paying attention?"He asked. "No." I confirmed. "Well what you doing then?" I was starting to get pissed. "I'm planning revenge on something dumbass." I blurted. Oops, I can never handle my mouth when I'm mad.

"Eric do you need to go see the school counsler?" Everyone was staring at me now. "Goddammit what's the point of seeing him? All he does is give lame ass advice and then say M'kay!" I scolded. Everyone gasped. No body ever smart mouthed about the counsler. "Eric, what exactly do you plan on getting revenge on?" Mr. Garrison asked. "None of your goddamn businees!" I yelled back. Suddenly Kenny bursted out laughing. "Kenneth? Do you think this is funny?" The teacher asked. "Yup!" Kenny said, still laughing. A few others started laughing as well. "Alright, everyone! GET OUT!" Mr. Garrison screamed. Everyone left the room laughing.  
*******

*Kyle's P.O.V*

Me and Cartman were sitting in my living room playing Xbox. "Cartman, when you made Mr. Garrison angry that was so funny!" I exlcaimed. "Thanks" he muttered. "So, what exactly did you mean when you said you wanted revenge on something?" I asked. "Well," he started a evil smile growing on his face. "The guy who killed my mom must suffer the consequences. I already have an idea how but I'll need someone to help." "Oh, cool."I responded. "Problem is, I don't know who. Maybe I can ask Kenny. But then again, he's a pussy." Cartman rambled on. "Well,"I said interupting him. "What about me? I'll help you get revenge." I assured. "Uhh what?" He asked. "You Kahl Broflovski, will help me get revenge?" "Yeah." I smiled. "Perfect." He responded. "I got a jew to help me."


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: GRR! Just read over Ch. 2! IT WAS AWFUL. Oh and just to help out if there are any confusion, for some reason when I wrote Mr. Garrison's name it didn't show up. If it still isn't showing up, then just GRRRRR! I'll fix Chapter 2 when I feel like it. Oh! I want to point out that I already have a fan! Of course it wasn't from Chapter 2 (That was a major screw up) but from the first chapter. A fan at the first chapter of my first fic. Made me so happy! Well just wanted to point out SP-CrazyKitty! Well I hope this chapter is a little better. I'm shutting up now. Enjoy it Dearies! :D

*Kyle's P.O.V*

Cartman has been at my house for 8 hours now. It is 11:03. He fell asleep on the couch, and my mom sent me to bed at 10:00. Since then I've been thinking about everything that's happened today. Then I realized that I agreed to help Cartman get revenge on the person who killed his mom. "OH SHIT" I screamed at the thought. 'Why did I agree to do that?' I thought to himself. 'I'm not the kind of person who gets mad then gives someone revenge!'

"KYLE?"My mom screamed inturrupting my thoughts. "Yes ma?" I screamed back. "Did you just say the 'S' word?" Oh fuck! I'm at home with my hardass bitch for a mom. Of course, I would never say so to anyone else (or let anyone else say so in that matter.) "NO MA!" I lied. "Okay Bubbla, if it wasn't you then who was it?" My mom challenged. God I HATED it when she did that. "It was Ike ma!" I lied, again. "Kyle, Ike's too young to cuss!" My mom rambled. "JESUS CHRIST MA! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I yelled. Wait? Did I just tell her the 'F' word? Oh shit I'm gonna die!

"Bubbla, does Eric need to go home? I'm sure his mother wouldn't be too happy about that!" Oh no! Is Cartman still asleep? Hopefully he didn't hear the mentions of his mom! Why can't my mom ever shut up? Why can't she ever just mind her own goddamn business? "NO MA! I'm sorry!" I screamed in hopes she would shut up. "OKAY! BUT WHEN ERIC GETS HOME, YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR 2 WEEKS!" Not that I really cared anyway. If you got grounded in South Park, you pretty much just gave yourself an excuse not to go to places. You don't necessarily lose any privliges or stay in your room, it's just a title to make the parents feel better about themselves.

*Cartman's P.O.V*

I woke up on the couch at Kyle's house. I looked around,not getting up. Where was everyone? I decided to look for Kyle in his room. When I got there, yup. Sure enough the little jew was sleeping, on the floor? Whatever, he just needs to get his ass up. "KAHL!" I shouted. He immidiatley shot up. "AHH! MA! I WASN'T SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR!" I couldn't help but laugh. What? Was that seriously an issue in the Broflovski house? Sleeping on the floor? Wait? Why do I care?

"Relax jew! It's just me." I laughed. "Oh, uh. Hi Cartman..." He responded rather awkwardly. "Come on jew. We gotta meet Stan and Kinny at Stark's Pond!" I told him. "Oh, um I can't." He said. "Pfft. Why's that? The jew afraid of water?" I smirked, I was about to start an argument. Fuck yes! "No. I'm grounded." He yawned. "Pfft, grounded my ass! C'mon! Your bitch mom is still asleep, and I set her alarm at 2, so she won't wake up til like 6 hours." Kyle looked at me with a confused look. "How'd you get in my mom's room without some hardass demon bitching at you?" Kyle smiled as he said that. "Who's the demon? Your mom?" I asked. "Yup. Now let's go to the pond!"  
*********

Me and Kyle finally got to Stark's Pond. The way there was actually pretty fun. We just talked and made fun of things and laugh. Knowing me and Kyle that doesn't happen very often. We were still laughing about some old lady having a seizure on the sidewalk. Stan and Kenny were a little surprised to see us laughing and not arguing or completely ignoring eachother. "Hi guys!" I exclaimed. "Hey dude."Kenny greeted. "What'cha guy laughing about?" Stan asked. "HAHAHAHAHAHAA!" Kyle kept laughing. "St-Stan. HAHA! There was this. HA!Old lady, and she was." Instead of finishing Kyle just kept laughing. "Um. Wow. Kyle, Cartman. I never thought it was possible that you two could get along." Stan said, obviously a little jelous. "Shut up you stupid hippy!" I scolded.

"Hmph, well Stan, looks like you're the new Kyle!" Kenny teased. "Shut up Kenny!" Stan yelled. "No, you shut up Stan!" Kyle said. We all looked at Kyle. "Kyle!" Stan whined. "What's wrong? We're just playing around." Kyle laughed again. "Um, Kyle I think you spent too much time with Cartman." Stan declared. "Grow up Stan! You're just jelous that I'm spending time with someone else. I have other friends you know!" Kyle growled. "You never spend time with me!" Kenny whined. "Okay, Kenny. How about you come over to my house next week?" Kyle said, mainly to piss off Stan. "Kick ass!" Kenny cheered.

The only person Kenny ever hangs out with is me. Sometimes Stan, but never Kyle. Kyle and Kenny don't really acknowledge eachother most of the time. "Hey fatass." Kenny said putting the attention on me. "What?" I asked. I never really cared when people called me "fatass" anymore. It just became a nickname for me. And I know that I'm not big-boned. My mom made that clear when I went to fat camp. But I used the "big-boned" excuse because I'm used to saying it. "What is your idea for revenge. If you need any help, I'd be honered." Kenny told me. "Oh. Thanks Kenny, but I already have Kyle to help me." I answered. "Kyle?" Kenny asked. "Yeah, he agreed last night while we played Xbox." "Well shit, Kyle Broflovski. Helping Eric Cartman. Sounds like theres more to this than it seems." Kenny said with a pervertive smile. "Fuck you Kinny!" I yelled. "With pleasure!" He said giving me a wink. After that Kyle and Stan bursted out laughing. They loved Kenny's pervy quirks. I did too but they aren't as funny when you're the victim.

"Well Kenny, I only wanted to help because it was a moment of sympathy for Cartman. If you want to help instead I don't mind." Kyle said patting Kenny on the back. "Kahl. You already agreed to this! Now don't screw me over!" I shouted. "And Kinny. You can help out if you want. Yes. Perfect. Hey Kinny I know the perfect thing for you to do!" "And what would that be?"Kenny asked, hoping it wasn't anything to do with death. "Kinny, how good of a seducer are you?" I asked. Kenny smiled. "Dude, I'm totally in!"

Authors Note: Hopefully this chapter didn't suck. Oh and this was just a filler stating that Kenny is involved in the act now. I'm gonna go fix that crappy excuse for Chapter 2 now. Later Dearies.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: Got Chapter 2 fixed. Took me a while because I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I'm not sure where this story is going, but I have figured out who would be the killer. Ooh! I got another fan! YAY! germanyusaman1997. And I figured out how to write these a little better! So umm... I shut up now.

* * *

*Kenny's P.O.V.*

One of Cartman's ideas for revenge involve seducing. Not sure why, but who cares! This is gonna be sweet! "Hey, who exactly am I supposed to seduce?" I asked. I was pretty curious. It wasn't everyday you got an opportunity like this.

"Oh yeah, here Kinny." Cartman replied, handing me a yellow piece of paper. I unfolded it. It had pictures, names, addresses, and things that turned the person on. 'How would Cartman know all this?' I ask myself. I just shrugged the thought off. "Well guys I'd love to stay around, but I gotta go." I told Cartman, Stan and Kyle before running off. It's not like they would care anyway. 'I have more important matters to take care of.' I thought to myself smiling at the yellow paper.

* * *

*Kyle's P.O.V*

"Umm. Cartman?" I asked, a little suspicious about the paper he gave Kenny.

"Kahl, I gave Kinny that paper to distract him for a while." He replied as if he read my mind.

"Why?" I asked a little confused.

"Well, Kinny's awesome that's why." Cartman answered, a smile growing on his face. "He's always there for me, it's the least I can do." Cartman being nice? Repaying somebody? He must like Kenny a lot if that's the case.

"Cartman did you just do something nice for Kenny, or am I going crazy?" Stan asked shocked as well by Cartman's generous act.

"What's wrong? You two assholes think Kinny don't deserve it?" Cartman said.

"Okay, enough tome wasting. Cartman and I have more important things to worry about!" I said, wanting to change the subject.

"Oh yeah... C'mon jew!" Cartman said pulling my on my wrist.

* * *

*Cartman's P.O.V*

I took Kyle to my house. We had to start investigating who killed my mom before plotting revenge. We stopped at Kyle's house first, he said he had something to help us. It was a DNA detector. Where'd he get that at? Probably from his dad. He was a lawyer. But wait? Lawyers don't do the detecting right? It was probably his mom. She probably got it to detect who kept leaving trash in the trash can. She does act like she has OCD when it comes to her house.

"CARTMAN! Did you hear me?" Kyle shouted, breaking my train of thought.

"Oh... Uh, What?" I asked.

Kyle groaned. "I asked you, where is your mom at!" I didn't realize that we were in the living room of my house.

"Oh she's in the kitchen." I answered.

"Alright, I'll be back in a minute. Got that?" When he asked that I was already back in my train of thoughts. So he would shut up, I simply nodded, though I had no idea what he said. I realized that he left so I sat on the couch and turned on the T.V. Flipping through channels, I stopped at Terrance & Phillip. It was a rerun but I didn't care.

"Terrance I think I have a fart." "Oh really Phillip? Perhaps I'll help you find it." *FART* "AHAHAHAHA"

"Hey! I got something!" Kyle shouted, running in front of the T.V.

I jumped up. "REALLY?" I was excited. We are already halfway there!

"Well I don't know who it is yet, but whoever it was is red-head." He confirmed.

"So a sneaky little ginger, hmmmm." Why would a ginger be mad at me?

"I found an orange hair on your mother's shirt. I put it in the DNA detector. We should find out who it is in 5 minutes. Until then let's just watch T.V." Kyle said as he sat on the couch. We just sat there watching Terrance & Phillip, while I was trying to figure out why a ginger would kill my mom. I couldn't think of a single reason.

DING!

The detector was done scanning. I jumped off the couch immediately and ran to it. '1 match found.' It said. '9th grader at South Park high. Scott Tenorman.'

"SCOTT TENORMEN?" I yelled. "Of course! The only ginger I know who's an asshole!"

"Well now you know who it is. What do we do now?" Kyle asked.

"COME WITH ME!"

* * *

Author's Note: Yeah, I know that was short and sorta rushed but I couldn't concentrate. AT ALL! Well now you know that Scott Tenorman's the killer. So now I'm going to take a nap. Writing makes me sleepy. Bye peeps!


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: This has some of Kenny's P.O.V in here. I got up a new story! YAY! I finally got my parody in! It's a Creek story. Well enjoy this chapter, for those of you who are still reading this. :/

Disclaimer:I don't own South Park.

* * *

*Kenny's P.O.V*

The first girl on this list is pretty hot. She is 15 year's old, and from North Park. Thank god she's from somewhere else because everyone in South Park is aware of who I am. Apparently she likes French dudes, sounds easy. And heroic people, still easy. And believes in love a first sight, yup. This was going to be so easy!

I noticed her cat on the front porch, hmmmmm. This gave me an idea. I walked to her front porch, picked up the cat and rang the doorbell.

"Um, can I help you?" Perfect. She was the one who answered.

"Bonjour Madame." I said with my best possible French accent. "Is this here jor cat?"

"Um, yeah. Why?" She looked confused, but I could tell she was buying the whole French thing.

"You see, I was walking on ze sidewalk. When I seen zis here cat almost getting ran ovear by za car. So I run to jor cat, and rescued him."

The girl smiled at me. "Oh, wow thank you!" She took the cat from my arms and put it in her house. "What's your name?"

"Ze name's Christophe." It was the first name I could think of that sounded French. Mainly because it was the same name as "Ze mole" well I never actually met him because I was in hell at the time, but I've heard about him.

"Ohh, fancy."She giggled. "I'm Olivia!" I already knew her name but it was best she didn't know about that. "You wanna come inside, Christophe?" She asked me.

"I'd be honored, after all, your hair may be dark as the night sky, but your eyes are as bright and beautiful as the waters the sky reflects on." I said, considering the fact she had black hair and blue eyes. I'd figured I'd be cheesy, because for some reason chicks love that type of shit.

"Ooh, my thank you Christophe." She said blushing. To continue the cheesiness, I grabbed her right hand and kissed it. "The pleasure is all mine," I whispered.

She giggled again blushing deeper, then pulled me inside her house. "I think I like you, I've never met anyone quite like you." Olivia told me as she walked into her kitchen. "You want some ice cream Chris?" She yelled. She already has a nickname for me? wow this is the easiest girl I've ever seduced.

"Oui." I responded. She giggled at my French response. She came out 3 minutes later with 2 bowls of ice cream.

"Wanna watch a movie?" she asked, handing me my ice cream.

"Sure." Movies always put chicks in the mood.

"Okay, c'mere and sit on the couch, I'll start one." She said winking at me, Wow, this chick is too easy.

* * *

*Cartman's P.O.V.*

We've been in my room for half an hour going over the plan to get revenge on Scott Tenorman. Kyle just wasn't getting it.

"Okay, Kahl." I said getting frustrated with how stubborn Kyle was being. "The plan is simple, at 3 a.m, We'll sneak into Scott's room. Completely trash it and leave a note that says. 'You bastard you fucking deserve this, if you wish to know who did this to you, come to Stark's Pond on Saturday at 5 p.m.', then we kill him!"

"Well Cartman, something you don't understand is that, Scott Tenorman has allies. He can backfire your plan entirely." Kyle told me.

"I know that, but I've got a few tricks myself Kahl. But I refuse to tell you them." I responded. "I don't necessarily trust you."

"Why?" Kyle asked, looking a little hurt.

"Good reasons Kahl, good reasons." A smile grew on my face as I said that.

"Um, yeah. Well I have to go, I'm grounded and my mom will throw a bitchfest if I don't get home soon." Kyle said as he started to leave my room.

"Later Kahl." When he finally left, I went to go call someone. After I dialed the number, I impatiently tapped my fingers.

RIIIING!

RIIING!

RIIIIING!

CLICK!

"Hello?"

"Yes, is this Olivia?" I asked the person on the other line.

"Um, yeah? What do you want? I have someone over." She sounded rather frustrated.

"Would that someone happen to have blond hair, blue eyes and an orange parka?"

"Yeeeeah... Um, why?" She asked confused.

"Can I talk to him?"

"Ok." Then I heard backround noises. "Christophe, someone's on the phone for you!"

I waited a few moments, then I heard "Bonjour."

"Hello, Christophe." I snarled.

"What the hell do you want fatass?" I could tell Kenny was annoyed. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I was talking to Kenny.

"Just checking on ya. Good luck dude!" Then I hung up.

What to do now? I guess I'll just watch T.V.

* * *

*Kenny's P.O.V*

I woke up in a room that I don't recognize. I could feel a pair of arms wrapped around me. It was 3:14. Then I remembered, Olivia. That was fun last night, except for when the fatass called.

I rolled off her bed, put on my clothes, then left her house. This wasn't the first time I've done this, but I kinda felt bad about getting her to think we were meant for each other, and then leaving. Oh well, I guess I'll just go to the next girl on the list.

'Samantha Newman. Age:14. Turn ons: psychics, redneck accents, and blonds.' She has brown hair and green eyes. And she was another easy one to attract. I was forgetting about Olivia already.

I'm glad fatass gave me this paper, this was going to be sweet.

* * *

Kinda want to get this story finished, I think it's just about finished. I'm a little more excited in writing my other story, "Creek: A Cinderella story.

Well later peeps.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Thank you, gracethecat for your review! I want to see how long this takes me to write this chapter. It's 7:37 right now. And... GO!

Disclaimer:I don't own South Park.

* * *

*Stan's P.O.V*

It's been two weeks since I've seen Kyle. Cartman's been around so it's not anything to do with that stupid scheme of his. I never really asked anyone, so I decided to ask Cartman.

"Hey fatass?" At this point Cartman turns around and smiles and innocent smile that makes no sense.

"Yes?"

"Have you seen Kyle around lately? It's been two weeks since I last seen him."

"Oh, really?" Cartman asked. "Are you sure that it's just not his diabetes or something?"

"No Cartman!" I replied. "I went to his house yesterday, apparently his mother hasn't seen him since two Saturdays ago."

Cartman's stare was blank. He had no emotion, at all. It was kinda creepy. "Really?" was his only response.

Something told me he knew something. Or he might have something to do with it. But what?

I opened my mouth again, but was interrupted by an orange figure shouting and running towards us. It sorta looked like Kenny.

Finally the orange figure was right in front of Cartman. Yep, it was Kenny.

"Dude!" Kenny said, trying to catch his breath. "What you did for me is fucking awesome! But damn! I'm so exhausted."

"What have you been up to Kenny?" I asked. I really had no idea, I haven't seen him since we went to Stark's Pond. And even then I didn't pay a bit of attention to him.

Kenny smiled his Cheshire cat smile. "Well let's just say in these past two weeks, your friend got lucky with 14 different girls."

"Oh..." I said. "Not sure how to respond to that."

"Pfft. You're such a slut Kinny!" Cartman laughed.

"I know!" Kenny replied. "But it's fun!"

"Kenny, Kenny, Kenny. What would we do without you?" I said sarcastically.

"Must be why I come back when I die." Oh shit. Is he trying to convince us that he can't die, and we never remember his deaths.

"Hey Kenny, have you seen Kyle around?" I ask, not wanting to bring up that subject again.

"No, I've been in North Park. Why?"

I explained the whole thing to him.

"Oh."

* * *

*Kenny's P.O.V*

Of course something Stan doesn't understand is that stuff like this happens in South Park all the time. Kyle will turn up eventually, then everyone will forget the whole epidemic, then things go back to normal. Plain and simple.

"Yo, fatass. You get revenge on that asshole yet?" I asked.

"Yup. Two Saturdays ago."

"So, who did it?" Stan asked.

"Scott fucking Tenorman." Cartman gritted his teeth as he said that. "I HATE HIM!"

"What'd you do?" I asked.

"Well, long story short, he's dead." Then he grinned his evilest grin.

"Wow. So no more Tenormans in South Park?"

"Yep. Well guys I'd love to stick around, but I gotta go."

Finally Cartman left, even though we were at the bus stop, and we had to go to school.

"Kenny, you know fatass well, and he trusts you. So could you do me a favor, and see exactly what he knows about Kyle?" Stan asked me.

"What makes you think he knows something about Kyle?" I asked confused.

"Just check for me, Okay?"

I sighed. "Fine."

"Thanks Ken."

We stood around in silence for a few minutes. Then I seen a truck coming from the distance. I guess I'll just go to bed, I'm so fucking exhausted.

"Stan, I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm beat! I'm going to bed. See ya tomorrow!"

"Wait what?" Stan asked.

Before I could answer him I jumped in front of the truck. OWWWW! It hurts! Sometimes I wonder why I let myself die on purpose. But whatever. Before I slipped into the unconscious faze, I could hear Stan yell, "Oh my god! Kenny killed himself!" Then things went black.

I knew where I was going. It wasn't the first time I've done this. But I always lose my stomach in the millions of feet drop to hell.

When I got there, I just walked to Satan's house. He liked me anyway.

I knocked on his door.

"Oh hello Kenny!" He answered. "How's my favorite immortal doing?"

I shrugged. "Fine I guess. Can I come in it's hot as hell out here."

"That's because you''re in hell. Come on in." Satan gestured me to come in.

I sat on his couch. "Hello Kenneth." said an annoying high pitched voice.

"Sup Damien?" I asked.

"Nothing. You know about your friend Kyle right?" He asked me.

"What about him?" I asked.

"I'll tell you tomorrow. For now, let's watch some T.V."

"Okay, sweet dude."

* * *

*Stan's P.O.V*

"Hey Stan. Where all your gang at?" Wendy asked me.

"Cartman went off to do whatever, Kyle's been missing for weeks, and Kenny killed himself this morning." I answered.

"Oh. Wait, why would Kenny kill himself?"

"I don't know, he said he'll be back tomorrow or something. I don't know."

"Oh." Wendy smiled. "I'm sure Kyle will turn up eventually." Then she kissed me on the cheek, and I barfed.

* * *

Author's note: Oh my god! I killed Kenny! I'm a bastard!  
This was more of a filler than a chapter. GRRRR! Going crazy with ideas! And I got a new story idea! Why does my brain hate me? WHY?  
I shut up now. Oh! It's 8:37. An hour of typing bullcrap! WOOH!


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: *Sigh* I typed out this chapter, but forgot to save it, GRRR! Just want this story to be over! Got so many ideas for other stories! It's making me go crazy! And it's not good if I rush through this, GRR! This is hard.

Disclaimer:I don't own South Park. If I did, it would've gotten cancelled years ago.

* * *

*Kenny's P.O.V*

I woke up on Satan's couch. Damien was watching me. I flinched when I saw him.

"Hello sleepy head." Said Damien with a devious smile.

"What do you want?" I asked him.

"To give you some insight on Kyle."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

I was debating whether this was a trick or he actually knew something. "What's the catch?" I ask him. If there's one thing I know about that demon, is that he's really good with tricks.

"None. Just got insight for you." he replied.

I sighed. "Fine."

"Okay, first of all, more gingers have been dying lately. And what I mean by that, is murdered. And they are all from your town South Park. Kyle is a ginger, or day-walker whatever, do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"

"So gingers in South Park are being being murdered?" I asked.

"That's correct."

"Are you implying that Kyle is dead?"

"Well not exactly."

I was starting to get confused. "What's that supposed to mean?"

But before he could answer, my soul was being returned to my body on Earth. I woke up in my bed.

* * *

*Stan's P.O.V*

I was standing at the bus stop waiting for Cartman and Kenny to come.

The first one was Kenny. He was running down the street screaming "STAN STAN! I KNOW SOMETHING!" When he finally got there he was panting.

"What is it Kenny?" I asked.

"Okay, remember yesterday when i killed myself?" He asked, still panting.

"Kenny? No. You didn't kill yourself!"

"YES I DID! Anyways, I went to hell and talked to Damien. Apparently gingers in this town have been being murdered. And dude, Kyle's a ginger!"

I thought about his explanation. "You mean-" I began.

"Yes, Stan. Kyle's dead." He finished for me.

"B-but who killed him?"

"I don't know." Kenny replied softly, knowing I was upset.

I began sobbing. Kenny patting my back telling me everything is okay.

"AY! What the hell is the hippie so sad about?" Cartman yelled as he ran to the bus stop.

"Ca-Cartman," I said, stuttering a bit because I was upset. "Kyle's de-dead."

Cartman had a blank expression on his face. Me being completely clueless about body language and facial expressions wasn't necessarily helping. Kenny however could see right through him.

"Hey fatass. You wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would you?"

Cartman's expression was still blank. "No. Why would you ask?" He said innocently.

Kenny smirked. "You can't lie to me fatass, I know more about you than anyone else. And I can tell you know something."

Wow Kenny was pretty good at this.

Cartman became angry. "FAHN! Think what you want Kinny, you poor piece of shit!" Then Cartman ran off.

"Dude, he is so guilty." Kenny laughed. Then the bus came.

When we got to school, me and Kenny ran to class, not wanting to deal with people.

When I got there I noticed Wendy and Butters were already there.

"Um, Stan?" I heard Wendy call me from her desk.

I went to go sit in mine, "What?" I asked her.

"Kenny is right there. Yesterday you told me he killed himself." What was she talking about?

"Um, what?"

"No wait, a second." She went on. "Red, Bebe and Heidi told me similar stories. Why do you keep lying and then forget."

Kenny joined in the conversation. "Wait, so you mean, girls of the school remember my deaths?" He asked.

"Are you two playing a trick on me, or is this for real?" Wendy asked.

"I don't even know what's going on." I said.

"Wendy it's for real! I think you've even seen me die before." Kenny exclaimed.

"Oh my god." Wendy laughed. "Are you a zombie who won't die Kenny?"

Kenny laughed as well. "Why would you think that?"

"Well I've never seen your face. You always hide it behind that orange parka of yours."

Kenny pulled his hood down, revealing his blond hair, blue eyes and the rest of his face. "And to answer your other question Wendy, I'm an immortal."

"You're immortal?" She asked.

"Yea, I happen to know Satan very well."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This had to be a trick.

"Okay, Wendy, Kenny. this trick you're trying to pull is not working! I don't believe Kenny's immortal. I don't believe he knows Satan! That's enough." I yell.

"Stan. settle down." Wendy said. "Only Kenny would be playing tricks here."

More people came into the classroom, all girls giving Kenny a strange look, then whispering to the other girls. Finally Bebe went up to Kenny.

"Are you new here?" She asked.

Of course none of the girls have seen Kenny with his hood off before. And when they have, it wasn't long enough for them to memorize what he looked like.

"No, It's me Kenny. I just pulled my hood down."

"What? Kenny, I must say, you should keep it down more often. You're cute." Then she winked at him and walk back to her seat.

All the girls gossiping, saying how cute Kenny was, it was annoying.

"Stan do you know what the girls are going on about now?" Clyde asked me.

I pointed at Kenny.

"Really? Why?" He whined.

"Clyde, please don't start." I groaned.

* * *

*Cartman's P.O.V*

I'm sitting in my room, I haven't bothered going to school in the past two days. People know. Kyle's dead, there's a ginger murderer. They know! And I think Kenny knows it's me. I can't tell.

No point in risking it.

Ever since the Saturday Scott Tenorman was killed, (which was my doing) I couldn't stop killing gingers. The guilt was too much, but nobody could know.

I felt bad about killing Kyle. So bad that in fact, I'm preserving his body in a big cooler of ice in my garage.

I know I need help. But if I get it, people will find out.

Perhaps I'll ask Kenny. He would help me right? I sighed. These thoughts were too much.

* * *

Author's Note: GRRR! Brain, Y U NO Let me finish story! Maybe next chapter will be the last, unless my brain decides to be a bitch and doesn't let me finish. GRR!


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: YAY! This is the last chapter. I finally finished! My brain quit being a bitch.

Disclaimer:I don't own South Park.

* * *

*Kenny's P.O.V*

After school, a ton girls flirted with me, a couple guys teased me for it, and Stan got ultra pissed for some reason.

I decided I would go to Cartman's house. He knew something about Kyle's disappearance, or had something to do with it. I wasn't sure which, but all I know is that he knows something.

I walk as quickly as I can to his house in the safest path possible. The last thing I wanted right now was to die again.

Finally, I got there. Getting a few looks from the townspeople since I was running as fast as I could down the street.

I want to surprise him with my presence, so I came in through the garage. Something smelled awful. I followed the smell to a cooler, and opened it.

Inside I seen just ice. So I put my arms in to dig deeper. Finally I felt something so I pulled it out.

When I seen what it was I dropped it, close the cooler lid, and ran out of Cartman's garage to go to Stan's house. Traumatized by what I'd just seen.

* * *

*Stan's P.O.V*

I was sitting on the couch watching T.V. with my dad and Shelly. Suddenly Kenny bursts into my house, totally freaking out.

"STAN! STAAAN!" He shouted, shaking like crazy with his eyes wide.

"Um, what's wrong Kenny?" I asked.

"I-I was at C-Cartman's garage. And I o-opened this cooler in there and-" Suddenly he passed out.

"Kenny?" He didn't move.

"DAD! Kenny passed out on the floor!"

My dad came in a few moments later with a bucket of water and dumped it on Kenny.

"AND I SEEN KYLE'S DEAD BODY IN THERE!" He screamed as soon as he woke up.

"WHAT?" I was shocked by what he just said. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

He nodded, still shaking with wide eyes.

"C'mon dude, we gotta have a little chat with Cartman."

* * *

*Cartman's P.O.V*

I'm lying in my bed. I haven't from this spot since I got home. Not even to eat. Had too many thoughts in my head.

"CARTMAN!" I heard a voice shout from downstairs. Sounded like Stan.

I didn't bother moving. Maybe he'll go away.

I was wrong. He opened my bedroom door.

"CARTMAN!" He shouted.

"What?" I said in rather a whisper.

"Why is Kyle's body in a cooler in your garage?" Stan sounded calm about it.

I burst into tears. "I'm s-sorry Stan! I c-can explain!"

"Go ahead, take your time."

I sighed. "Stan, the Saturday Kahl disappeared, we were in Stark's Pond. I was getting my revenge on Scott Tenorman. Scott had a bunch of ginger kids with him I fought them all off. Then I was finally able to kill Scott. But the plan back fired, Kahl knocked me to the ground and held me down, and Scott had his gun to my forehead. Luckily for me, I have allies hiding in the trees and they shot Scott and he died. As for Kahl, I pushed him off me, and asked him why betrayed me and he told me, us gingers work together. Then he picked up Scott's gun and pointed it at me. So I knocked it out of his hand and said "Sorry Kahl" and I shot him. I feel so bad!" Then I started crying again.

"Kyle was working for Scott this whole time?" Stan asked.

I nodded.

"Why did you put Kyle's body in a cooler in your garage?" Kenny asked.

I grinned. "I don't know why you say that Kinny."

Stan and Kenny give me a confused look. "What are you talking about? I seen it with my own two eyes!" Kenny shouted.

"Guys what's today's date?" I asked them.

"April first." Stan replied. "Why?"

Kyle crawls out from under my bed.

"APRIL FOOLS!" Me and Kyle say in unison.

"What?" Stan asked.

"We've had this idea for two weeks now Stan." Kyle said laughing. "We totally got you!"

"Who's idea was this?" Kenny asked.

"Mine!" I answer.

"Yeah, after we killed Scott Tenorman, Cartman gave me the idea that we trick you into thinking I was killed as well." Kyle replied.

"You guys are dicks!" Stan yelled. "Kyle, you had me thinking you were dead!"

"I know, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you."

"What about the chat I had with Damien?" Kenny asked.

"I may have killed a few gingers." I said.

"Cartman!" Kyle whined.

"What? I hate gingers."

* * *

Author's Note: YES IT'S OVER! I'M FREE! I'm done with my first fic, even though it fucking sucked. I'm going to go work on my other story now, it's actually pretty good, or say so from the review support I got on it. For those who actually liked this story, I apologize for screwing up the end. I didn't really like it, SORRY! GRR! Well later.


End file.
